1950's version of an E-Mail

 I  have no idea who put this together, but it is  wonderful!

Long  ago and far away, in a land that time forgot, 

Before the  days of Dylan , or the dawn of Camelot. 

There lived a race  of innocents, and they were you and me,

For  Ike was in the White House in that land where we were born,  

  Where  navels were for oranges, and Peyton Place was porn.  

We  longed for love and romance, and waited for our Prince,  

Eddie Fisher married Liz, and no one's seen him since.  

We  danced to 'Little Darlin,' and sang to 'Stagger Lee' 

And  cried for Buddy Holly in the Land That Made Me, Me.  

Only  girls wore earrings then, and 3 was one too many, 

And only  boys wore flat-top cuts, except for Jean  McKinney.

And  only in our wildest dreams did we expect to see, 

A boy named  George with Lipstick, in the Land That Made  Me,Me.  

We  fell for Frankie Avalon, Annette was oh, so nice, 

And when  they made a movie, they never made it twice.  

We  didn't have a Star Trek Five, or Psycho Two and Three, 

Or  Rocky-Rambo Twenty in the Land That Made Me, Me.  

Miss  Kitty had a heart of gold, and Chester had a limp, 

And  Reagan was a Democrat whose co-star was a chimp.

We  had a Mr. Wizard, but not a Mr. T, 

And Oprah couldn't talk  yet, in the Land That Made Me, Me. 

We had our share of  heroes, we never thought they'd go, 

At least not Bobby  Darin, or Marilyn Monroe.

For  youth was still eternal, and life was yet to be, 

And Elvis  was forever in the Land That Made Me, Me. 

We'd  never seen the rock band that was Grateful to be Dead, 

And  Airplanes weren't named Jefferson , and Zeppelins were not  Led.

    And  Beatles lived in gardens then, and Monkees lived in trees,  

Madonna was Mary in the Land That Made Me,  Me.

We'd never heard of  microwaves, or telephones in cars, 

And babies might be  bottle-fed, but they were not grown in jars.  

And  pumping iron got wrinkles out, and 'gay' meant fancy-free,  

And dorms were never co-Ed in the Land That Made Me,  Me.

We hadn't seen enough of jets to talk about the lag,  

And microchips were what was left at the bottom of the bag.  

And  hardware was a box of nails, and bytes came from a flea, 

And  rocket ships were fiction in the Land That Made Me, Me.  

T-Birds  came with portholes, and side shows came with freaks, 

And  bathing suits came big enough to cover both your cheeks.  

And  Coke came just in bottles, and skirts below the knee,

And  Castro came to power near the Land That Made Me, Me.  

We  had no Crest with Fluoride, we had no Hill Street Blues, 

We  had no patterned pantyhose or Lipton herbal tea,

Or  prime-time ads for those dysfunctions in the Land That Made  Me,Me. 

There  were no golden arches, no Perrier to chill, 

And fish were  not called Wanda, and cats were not called Bill.  

And  middle-aged was 35 and old was forty-three, 

And ancient were  our parents in the Land That Made Me, Me. 

But  all things have a season, or so we've heard them say, 

And  now instead of Maybelline we swear by Retin-A. 

They send us  invitations to join AARP, 

We've come a long way, baby, from  the Land That Made Me, Me. 

  So  now we face a brave new world in slightly larger jeans,

And  wonder why they're using smaller print in magazines. 

And we  tell our children's children of the way it used to be, 

Long  ago and far away in the Land That Made Me, Me.

If you didn't grow up in the  fifties, you missed the greatest time in history.

Hope you  enjoyed this read as much as I did.